By Elaine F. Barry (Mommy)
I was getting off of work
and walking home. On the way home some very interesting
things happened. I was following a pathway home and
a little kitten crossed my path. I bent down to pat
the kitten and when I straightened up I looked up to
the sky. There I saw a big beautiful rainbow. I thought
this was so nice, but I had the feeling that I needed
to get home quickly.
Not two minutes after arriving home the phone rang and
I just knew it was bad. I was right. I was now being
asked to make the critical decision to “code or
no-code” my precious daughter, Tammy, who had
been admitted to the hospital with her life nearing
doctors and nurses needed me to make this decision. I
took a deep breath. I knew I was being prepared for something
earlier, but I had no idea what I would be asked to decide.
I knew in my heart what the decision was to be. The decision
was to "no code" my daughter. If it was her
time to leave this earth, it was to be this way.
The person then asked me to decide about Organ and Tissue
donation. You know what? I knew the answer to that, too.
Due to the medications that my daughter required to sustain
her life, I was not sure if my answer would be allowable.
I was told that she could donate her cornea so that another
person would be able to see life a little clearer. My
answer was, "Yes, please do!"
Born: October 17, 1978
Passed On 1992
saw you getting tired,
when a cure was not to be,
He closed his arms around you,
And whispered, "Come to me."
In tears we saw you sinking,
We watched you fade away
Our hearts were broken,
You fought so hard to stay
But when we saw you sleeping,
So peacefully free from pain.
We would not wish you back,
To suffer that again
So treasure her Lord,
In your garden of rest
For here on earth,
She was one of the best
- Author Unknown
Tammy's Poem ... from
I looked up to the Heavens, made a wish on a star,
That my baby's handicap would not go far.
Although the doctor did not agree
I knew you had sent this special child to me.
She was born, but not a breath she drew,
Our lives were changed- we'd start anew.
They said the damage was to such an extent
Her life although just started had already been
She's in your hands- I start to grieve,
What's that I hear - she has started to breathe.
The pain the anguish, the guilt it grew,
A torture we felt no one else knew.
time had come for us to decide,
Where this very special child was to reside.
We love her so- she is so dear
You have made your intentions very clear.
This special girl so meek and mild,
Misunderstood and thought quite wild,
Sent from above to the earth below,
To help, to teach and let the world know
That the pain, the anguish the loving and caring
Sometimes means giving up some rights and sharing.
This special child sent to us mom and dad
Used to be considered a mistake, a mistake quite
Through looking, listening and watching her grow,
She teaches the world what we would know.
She does not run, she does not play,
But she brightens our lives every day.
In the beginning they wanted to call a preacher,
The years later our special child is a teacher.
Written April 20th, 1990
- submitted by The Barry Family
by Step and Kristopher's Wish give our thanks to The Barry
Family for giving us permission to share Tammy's story
and poem with you. Sharing their story helps us to increase
awareness of organ and tissue donation, which is the objective
of Step by Step and Kristopher's Wish.